{"id":71,"date":"2024-08-13T18:07:07","date_gmt":"2024-08-13T18:07:07","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/femaleswholead.com\/index.php\/2024\/08\/13\/dr-venus-nicolino-talks-digital-age-dating-sex-and-female-sexuality\/"},"modified":"2024-08-13T18:25:49","modified_gmt":"2024-08-13T18:25:49","slug":"dr-venus-nicolino-talks-digital-age-dating-sex-and-female-sexuality","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/femaleswholead.com\/index.php\/2024\/08\/13\/dr-venus-nicolino-talks-digital-age-dating-sex-and-female-sexuality\/","title":{"rendered":"Dr. Venus Nicolino Talks Digital-Age Dating, Sex, and Female Sexuality"},"content":{"rendered":"

Mention the word \u201cdating\u201d in a social setting and everyone will immediately have flashbacks to their own experiences \u2014 the good, the bad, and the terribly embarrassing. For something that didn\u2019t even exist until the past century or so, modern dating has become a universal experience in the Western world. But dealing with it in a digital age takes effort, says Dr. Venus Nicolino.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s a topic she addresses often in videos on her popular TikTok channel.<\/u><\/a> For example, she can tell you why you always should be open and available <\/u><\/a>to meeting someone new, but warns you that it\u2019s impossible to be good enough for the wrong person<\/u><\/a>. And in her irreverent style, she can also tell you why \u201cright person, wrong time\u201d is \u201c1,000% wrong.\u201d<\/u><\/a><\/p>\n

It\u2019s a topic she also took up on her podcast, \u201cThe Tea With Dr. V<\/u><\/a>,\u201d in a conversation with actress Syd Wilder. That included discussing something Dr. Venus Nicolino often mentions in relation to dating: ownership of female sexuality.<\/p>\n

\u201cYour sexuality is not a credit card, people don\u2019t get to cash in on it,\u201d she said. \u201cYour body is yours to do with what you want to do with it.\u201d<\/p>\n

Wilder brought up the entitled attitude some men have when it comes to sex. But when she mentioned wanting men to \u201cearn it,\u201d Dr. Venus Nicolino was having none of it.<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t want you to get trapped in that thought process. Because what you\u2019re doing, you\u2019re going along with these sextist attitudes and beliefs about who you are. You get to choose who you sleep with \u2014 when, how, where,\u201d she said. \u201cNo one earns you. To say that someone has to earn your sexuality implies your sexuality isn\u2019t yours.\u201d<\/p>\n

Tips For Dating in the Digital Age<\/h1>\n

Dr. Venus Nicolino, the bestselling author of Bad Advice: How To Survive and Thrive in an Age of Bulls–t<\/em><\/u><\/a>,<\/em> said people often look at dating in terms of the other person. But, she said, \u201cIt\u2019s really about your experience of<\/em> you, with <\/em>them.\u201d However, actually being with someone is more difficult than ever in a time of dating apps. The prevalent idea that people are hooking up more than ever is \u201cjust not true,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n

Whether Hinge or Tinder is your thing, \u201cYou don\u2019t have access to people; you have access to pictures,\u201d she said of dating apps. \u201cBut how many times will you actually meet someone in person?\u201d She added that research shows that \u201chookups\u201d are happening right now at about the same rate as in the 1970s.<\/p>\n

Dr. Venus Nicolino said dating apps end up being about the app itself, not actual dating. Rather than spending hours scrolling through apps, and sending endless DMs, she advises people to select a few best candidates and make appointments to meet them. She said having that process can lead to more success in actual dating, as opposed to swiping left and right all night.<\/p>\n

She pointed out that before the internet, groups of women would go through the ritual of planning a night out and how they would handle meeting men. \u201cPreparation prepares you to go through a process,\u201d she said. \u201cThe dating on your device doesn\u2019t prepare you for a process. You\u2019re inactively triggering your brain to be addicted to these dating apps.\u201d She later added, \u201cThat is draining and unhealthy.\u201d<\/p>\n

She also said that once people start dating, they should talk, not text, about complex issues. \u201cYou don\u2019t want to have an emotional conversation over a text or an email. Pick up the phone and call,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n

Listen to Your Instincts That Warn You of \u2018Crazy\u2019<\/h1>\n

In a video<\/u><\/a> for the New York Post<\/em>\u2019s Page Six, Dr. Venus Nicolino offers her take on what to watch out for with first dates. She started with the red flags, offering a tip on spotting a sociopath or narcissist.<\/p>\n

\u201cThey will lack compassion and empathy and you will feel that right away. Do not ignore that red flag,\u201d she said. She added that this is not a time to practice an overabundance of empathy.<\/p>\n

\u201cPeople who are empathetic, who are understanding, will have a tendency to collect red flags,\u201d she said, \u201cinstead of listening to our intuition and being like, \u2018This person is f—ed up.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n

She told Wilder that women also should stay wary of men who talk about \u201ctraditional\u201d values. \u201cTraditional is another term for misogynist and sexist,\u201d she said. \u201cAs soon as someone talks about their traditional values, what they\u2019re really talking about are their sexist and misogynistic attitudes and beliefs. That\u2019s what they\u2019re really talking about.\u201d<\/p>\n

She also cautioned about the \u201cpleasure gap.\u201d She said when men and women have sex on the first date, almost 70% of men achieve orgasm, but only 4% percent of women do. Her advice in this area is also unconventional: She tells Wilder that you can tell a lot about a person in the way in which they give and receive sexual attention. Gathering this information sooner, rather than later, is best.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t Ignore Kinky Areas of Opportunity<\/h1>\n

Dr. Venus Nicolino started her relationship with her husband on a one-night stand. She\u2019s understandably not interested in old-fashioned rules about waiting to have sex.<\/p>\n

\u201cIf you feel a connection with someone on the first date and it feels right, and you\u2019re both in the moment, allow yourself to have that moment,\u201d Dr. Venus Nicolino said in the Page Six video.<\/p>\n

Sexuality also can provide an indicator that things are going well as you continue to date someone. Dr. Venus Nicolino also talked about one unique sign when discussing dating and relationships with Page Six.<\/p>\n

\u201cSo, you\u2019re in bed and your partner brings up a kink, something that they like to do that you were unaware of,\u201d she said. \u201cI just want to let you know that that is an area of opportunity. This person just gave you a piece of information. I think to explore these valuable pieces of information, particularly in the bedroom, is so incredibly important.<\/p>\n

\u201cBecause your sexual relationship is your relationship, nonverbal. The idea that your partner would feel even comfortable to bring up a kink of theirs, that is incredible trust. So, while it might be surprising, while it might be shocking, it\u2019s actually a sign that your relationship might be on the right track.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Mention the word \u201cdating\u201d in a social setting and everyone will immediately have flashbacks to their own experiences \u2014 the good, the bad, and the terribly embarrassing. For something that didn\u2019t even exist until the past century or so, modern dating has become a universal experience in the Western world. But dealing with it in […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":74,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-71","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-life"],"yoast_head":"\nDr. Venus Nicolino Talks Digital-Age Dating, Sex, and Female Sexuality - Females Who Lead<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Learn some modern-day dating tips from Dr. Venus Nicolino, including how to deal with misogyny, plus why kinky sex is an opportunity.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/femaleswholead.com\/index.php\/2024\/08\/13\/dr-venus-nicolino-talks-digital-age-dating-sex-and-female-sexuality\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Dr. Venus Nicolino Talks Digital-Age Dating, Sex, and Female Sexuality - 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